OnlyLook: Lucy Browne’s

The Gluttoness — August 04, 2009

The “Big O’ Burger,” described as a “secret blend crusted with sweet shallot,” $12.00.

For a restaurant to be significant, for it to be “approved” and included in AlwaysHungryNY.com’s quality-controlled, Very Advanced Search Engine, it must first be thoroughly investigated. Lucy Browne’s (view site) came onto our radar when our friend, Josh Ozersky (aka The Feedbag), got involved in the transformation of the former Steak Frites space into a comfort food eatery with the creation of his signature “Big O’ Burger.”

 

Thanksgiving on a Roll, $13.50.

We’ll get to the burger in a moment. Let’s start by saying, that if we had only tasted the Thanksgiving on a Roll, our experience may have amounted to a FirstLook, a glimpse into a new AHNY-approved eatery. The soft Balthazar roll housed a well-proportioned mix of holiday staples: stuffing, gravy, juicy slabs of turkey, and an authoritative cranberry sauce speckled with fruity gems. The accompanying mountain of French fries were commendable as well, impressively crisp. Their presence was the only thing that ultimately saved our unsatisfied palates as we waded through the other dishes.

 

Top, “Regular” Jumbo Buffalo Wings ($5/6). Bottom left, Mac & Cheese, $12. Nachos Grande, $9.50.

“When do you see a man not finish a Buffalo Wing?” asked Jeff, tossing a partially-eaten wing. “This is an embarrassment to the city of Buffalo.”

Sadly, this disappointment pervaded our entire meal. Most dishes were left half-eaten. The Nachos Grande featured very good homemade chips, but they were dressed with a skimpy showing of cheese and black beans. Fresh pico de gallo was a nice touch, but there’s nothing “grande” about a heavy dollop of sour cream and a handful of thick jalapeño slices. “Our Dreamy” Mac & Cheese (their description) was topped with browned bread crumbs, and tasted of cream cheese, which created an oddly sour effect that was off-putting to some.

 

Cross-section of “The Big “O” Burger.”

But the much-anticipated headliner of our meal was the “Big O’ Burger.” Mr. Cutlets researched and designed, then documented “the arduous process of creating the perfect hamburger” in a detailed, three-part video series. It ends with the Feedbag in the kitchen with Chef Josh Shuffman doing a demo of what he refers to as a “high-class version of the Oklahoma-style onion burger,” which for the record, looked pretty good.

The image of Cutlets searing a blackened shallot encrusted burger was emblazoned in our minds as we waited for it to arrive. Our experience did not live up to what we had seen on film. First, there was nothing big about the burger. It was over-cooked and underwhelming. The bun wasn’t special, and a chopped shallot marmalade didn’t nearly compare to the burnt bits we had been led to expect. For the sake of Ozersky’s reputation as a burger aficionado, he should quickly give the chefs a refresher course on how to execute his Big O’ Burger. At the least, they should watch the video again.

 

Top, Fish Tacos, $10. Bottom left, Brisket Sandwich w/cole slaw and corn, $14.50. Shrimp & Grits, $21.

A dismal trio of Fish Tacos were characterized by an unpleasant fishiness that seeped through the fried fish exterior. Mundane corn tortillas were filled with avocado, pico de gallo, cilantro and lime. The best part of the Chopped Beef Brisket Sandwich was the soft sesame seed bun (the Big O’ would have benefited from it). Chewy cubes of mediocre meat were blanketed with a sweet sauce that lacked spice. “Outer Banks” Shrimp & Grits featured gummy crustaceans atop an unseasoned Cream of Wheat-like concoction that was devoid of the advertised garlic. Even the decorative fried shallots couldn’t convey flavor to save this dish.

 

Buttermilk Crispy Fried Chicken Waffles with Pure Maple-Agave Syrup, $16.50.

In the wake of tasting Momofuku’s formidable Fried Chicken, Lucy Browne’s rendition was truly embarrassing. Dry chicken sheepishly hid beneath an overcooked exterior. We didn’t condemn the underlying waffle as guilty by sheer association— it was passable, especially when doused with pure maple-agave syrup. “DelMarValous Lump Crabcakes” were good enough, certainly neither marvelous nor lump. At least the accompanying Grilled Pineapple, Tomato, Corn and Basil Salad was refreshing.

 

Chicken Parmesan, $14.50.

“Cucina de la Nonna” was the most obvious sidestep outside Southern cuisine. Tender breaded chicken blanketed with melted mozzarella made for a cafeteria-like Chicken Parmesan with Linguine— one of those cheaply satisfying preparations we would never disgrace our grandmothers with by association.

Our last attempt to assuage our distaste, ordering dessert, put the nail in Lucy Browne’s coffin. Blackberry Peach Pudding “Cake” (right, $7) a disastrous presentation, was described around the table as tasting like “lotion,” “cough syrup,” and “dirty towel.”

The tagline on Lucy Browne’s menu reads, “clever food and drink.” Overall, we found it to be more confusing than clever—a befuddled amalgamation of homestyle dishes with an emphasis on the South. It’s a prime example of one of the most vexing problems with New York City restaurants: the haphazard concept, thrown together to make poor use of an otherwise great space. Lucy will undoubtedly be done in by the recession, which is why this FirstLook will be the only OnlyLook at her you’ll ever find on AlwaysHungryNY.com.